Jalen Rose called Paul Pierce “petty,” a word more accurate than Kobe Bryant the night he scored 81 and had Jalen fantasizing about broadcasting. Paul Pierce should embrace Isaiah Thomas getting a pre-game tribute video the same night he gets his number retired, this is just entertainment 101. This would basically be Jerrod Carmichael opening for Dave Chappelle, not Jerrod coming out on stage during Dave’s closer like Paul is taking it.
Gordon Hayward walking out of the tunnel without a boot is more exciting for Celtics fans these days than seeing the third best player on a title team watch his jersey float to the rafters devoid of any distraction by a former fan-favorite make-a-wish-sized player anyway. Do the right things, Celtics brass: Have a little walk and talk with the man of the night in a hallway somewhere, and show Isaiah’s tribute video then. I’m sure the video ends with his daughter doing something absolutely adorable, so as Paul walks back onto the court the crowd will be in a complete frenzy, appeasing his chronic narcissism.
They should mix in highlight videos of Danny Ainge on the phone with Billy King, repeatedly telling him that age is only a number. Raise a banner with all of the hair Billy King ripped out taped to it simultaneously as Danny Ainge lights up a cigar at midcourt. The best plays from Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum and Kyrie Irving should be shown on the jumbotron as a “Thank you Paul!!!” message appears besides a still of him wearing a Nets jersey.
I don’t see why people in Paul’s circle treated him like Justin Bieber instead of telling him to take a trip to the concession stand while the crowd went berzerk over Isaiah Thomas. Celtics fans would probably rather watch Isaiah shake hands with Al Horford and Gordon Hayward in a meeting room while Billy King’s former intern brings Danny Ainge coffee, and that’s just the truth.